Feature: Debunking watch myths
Reckon you know watches? You’re about to get debunked harder than MSG.
Luxury watches don’t have to be expensive
The idea of expensive luxury is that it’s expensive. Makes sense. But lose the expensive part, and do you still have luxury? Look in the right places and you absolutely can. Luxury watches don’t all start in the thousands of dollars. Shop for something like a Tissot PRX or even a Seiko and you’ll find a beautifully built, elegantly styled watch that’s rich with history and poor with purchase price. As in, it’s cheap to buy. You get the point. You don’t need to sell a kidney to get a watch that’ll make you feel like a million dollars.
Mechanical watches aren’t better than quartz
If you look at auction prices and the comments on the internet, you’ll come to two conclusions. One: the end of the world is nigh. Two: mechanical watches, driven by a spring through a series of gears, are better than quartz watches powered by a battery. Well, I hate to tell you, but that’s just not true. Even the cheapest battery-powered watch from a gumball machine will absolutely smoke a mechanical one. So why do we buy mechanical watches if they’re so bad? They might not be as accurate, but boy are they cooler than a penguin’s patio.
Why in-house movements aren’t better
If you’re looking for a watch, chances are you’ve heard that if it doesn’t have an in-house movement, it’s no good. Having an exclusive movement from the manufacturer whose name is on the dial is great and everything, but to be honest, it’s not normal. Pretty much every watchmaker, including big boys like Patek Philippe and Rolex, had some if not all of their movements made for them. Rolex only went in-house in 2005 and Patek stopped using other movements barely a decade ago. Volkswagen doesn’t make its own headlamps because it’s cheaper, and so that means you can get a more affordable watch if it has a third-party movement.
In-house doesn’t mean what you think it does
So in-house manufacture is the hot thing in watchmaking, but what does that actually mean? You might think that a watchmaker that’s in-house brings in raw material and spits out a finished watch, but that’s just not how things work. It’s much more efficient to let specialists produce the things they specialise in, like dials, hands, balance springs, bracelets and things like that. And so many manufacturers—if not most—will do exactly that. Perhaps they design in-house and assemble, and maybe even produce some components in-house too, but really there’s no regulation on when that can and can’t be called in-house.
Hand finishing doesn’t mean what you think it does
We all imagine a Swiss made watch being fashioned from scraps of raw metal using nothing but hand saws and files, and that’s how it used to be. But mechanisation has been around in watchmaking for a long, long time, and is present now more than ever. So, when it comes to hand finishing a watch, applying the decorative detailing, what does that really mean? Well, it can mean that every one of those finishes is applied by hand with unpowered tools, but it can also mean a light touch with a powered tool on a finish that has been predominantly applied by machine—and everything in between.
A helium escape valve doesn’t do what you think it does
The best beauty shot of a dive watch by a creative director who has no idea what they’re talking about is the one with the bubbles coming out of the helium escape valve. I mean, points for trying, but that’s as right as dipping fries in ice-cream. That’s actually a thing by the way. In reality, the valve is there to let gases out of the watch during decompression so the crystal doesn’t pop off… and that happens in a completely dry chamber. If there’s bubbles, there’s a serious problem…
Swiss made doesn’t mean Swiss made
Long the bastion of fine watchmaking, the Swiss Made stamp is not one any watch brand can simply apply to its watches. There are strict regulations about these sorts of things. In this case a watch must be made in Switzerland—or at least, 60% of it. And that’s not 60% by volume, but by value. As you can imagine, that’s not the hardest ruleset to circumnavigate, much to the chagrin of 100% Swiss made watch brand H. Moser. In protest, they removed the “Swiss Made” stamp from their dials and produced a watch made of entirely Swiss made exports—including cheese…
Swiss watches aren’t always the best
Where do the best watches in the world come from? Switzerland is the default answer, but is it true? There are some incredible watches coming from the landlocked nation, but that hasn’t stopped other countries around the world muscling in on that accolade. Germany, Japan, England, France, America, Korea—and many more besides—are currently producing watches that make the average Swiss ticker look a bit… disappointing.
Waterproof doesn’t mean what you think it means
It seems easy enough to understand that the depth rating in metres on a watch means exactly that: that a 30m water-resistant watch can be taken down thirty metres below the surface. But according to many watch manufacturers, that’s not the case. Thirty metres is splash-resistant, fifty metres can be worn in the shower, one hundred metres can be worn swimming and two hundred metres is suitable for diving. Seems nonsensical, and people have tested their watches to greater extremes than that—however, if you value your warranty, it’s best to stick to the manufacturer’s guidelines.
Swiss watches are NOT a good investment
“Better than money in the bank,” is a phrase often used in tandem with Swiss watches. And it’s true that some watches have gone up in price at a greater rate than a savings account. But some of those watches have come down again, and the vast majority never go up in the first place. In most cases, a watch depreciates from new. Really, it’s about buying the watch you like best and enjoying it. And perhaps, if you buy well, after the depreciation, and keep it for long enough, you might find you can get back most of what you paid for it, if not a little more.
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